Posted by
Boaz on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:35:54 PM
The
loss of so much of the Antarctic ice approximately 2,000 years ago has finally been explained by Liberal Scientists (a presumption on my part) using advanced radar imaging techniques have found the evidence for a massive volcanic explosion in the year 207 B.C. (+/- two hundred forty years.)
The explosion is said to have created a smoke and ash plume as much as eight miles high. (eye witnesses?) The resulting ash plume then covered an area of approximately 8,900 sq. miles creating a deposit on the seabed of .07 cubic miles of ash. For those without an understanding of the finer points of expostulation in the absence of eyewitness accounts and or the ability to actually visit the affected area in person, the deposit of ash is roughly equal to 2,426 Marlboro smokers smoking three and a half packs of cigarettes per day for
2.3879 7 trillion years. (+/- 1 yr and two months) (For the non mathematically inclined the number just mentioned is 2.3879 times itself seven times and then twelve zeros. Thats also enough Marlboros to keep ALGore 's mega-house taxes and the electric bill paid for the foreseeable future.
But back to the ice loss....The ice lost when the volcano blew up created a hole in the antarctic ice cap big enough to drive a Volvo through (+/- 453 HumVees and 7 Yugos) The extent of the ocean level rising during that period of time is still not known. There is however a very close guessstimate of the amount of ocean rise being perpetrated by the Western Antarctic Glaciers as a whole. That amount is stunning .008 inches EIGHT THOUSANDTHS OF AN INCH.... EVERY YEAR !!!!
If that were to continue for only another thousand years the ocean levels could rise another full inch! That would be enough to wet the toes of Bangladeshi's living at the waters edge. The problem being that most of Bangladesh is somewhere near sea level to begin with. Poor planning it seems to me, because that means if a boat goes by and makes a big wake, 5,216 Bangli's would be left homeless. The Upside of that is the concept of what constitutes a standard Bangli home also leaves a bit to be desired, which means losing it is only temporary - until they can get down to the local Wal-Mart and get another load of cardboard boxes to build a new home.
The down side being, it was built with cardboard the first time and will be the second and time and then again the third time when it rains, next year.. again.
In the AFP article linked above there is of course a missing element and that would be "How did George Bush arrange for a volcano to blow up nearly two thousand years ago?"
That does lend itself to a number of interesting possibilities regarding time travel, Scooter Libby, Janet Reno, and just who did see Vince Foster last!
The real burden of proof of course lies on W to prove he had nothing to do with the volcano erupting, and by now I'm sure all of the relevant documents have been shredded and sent to a CIA offsite prison in Barkingmadistan to be incinerated beyond all possibility of even the forensic scientific investigators on C.S.I. to put back together.
Just another riddle which must be left to our descendants to unravel when Nissan rolls out the first Hybrid Powered Time Travel Vehicle.
But back to the ice loss in Antarctica.. one of the researchers David Vaughan has stressed that the loss of so much ice while aided by the volcanic sea vents, and related geothermal warming is really caused by Gorbeal Warming. Of course. (hence my earlier presumption of a Liberal bent for these gents) Despite the entire Western edge of Antarctica sitting on a volcanically active area.
The answer to the problem of Gorebal Warming, Antarctic Volcanoes, the truly horrible movie Cloverfield and the mishmash of unfunded Political Pork Barrel Projects is to bring onboard a "New Wave Politician" Someone who can alter the earths axis at will and stop the horrors of Gorebal Warming in two election cycles, and create a new Federal Department of Hair Coiffure to eliminate all Bad Hair Days forever. All hail to the Chief Primp - John Edwards! With his latest campaign slogan -
"Primping for Votes The Old Fashioned Way - I promise You Everything - Including No bad Hair Days EVER!"